i might just disappear [Micah] Dec 31, 2018 22:48:50 GMT -6
Post by Talim on Dec 31, 2018 22:48:50 GMT -6
Nimue was gone.
Talim hadn't been able to allow himself to believe it, at first. He'd been in denial, for quite some time- first his brain had lead him to think that Nimue was ignoring him when she hadn't shown any sign of her presence for several days, but he'd managed to convince himself that that train of thought was absolutely ridiculous. Nimue had other duties to attend to now, after all, duties that came with being introduced to an entirely new pack and having to memorize the names and faces of all the wolves within it. She had Micah, and her pups, and whatever other members of Ananke had decided to journey to Acerbus to join up with the ranks of Vasilios. She didn't need someone like him, just a pathetic little leech who hung around to mooch off of some of her generosity and good will, just a clinging jealous idiot who did nothing to contribute anything of importance to either her family or this new organization that they had found themselves a part of. If she'd grown tired of him and decided that she was better off not lingering around him, well, he could hardly blame her for that. Nimue was a grown wolf, the former alpha of an established pack, more than capable of making her own decisions about who to associate with in her spare time. He was the one who acted like an overgrown pup more often than not, making an utter fool out of himself in any social situation that he happened to stumble into.
She didn't need him, and he was content with that.
But as days had turned into weeks and those had turned into months, and there had still been no sign of his alpha- his friend- anywhere within Acerbus, Talim had been forced to face the horrific truth that had been swirling around in his head for days before, haunting him whenever he cared to dwell on it. Nimue was gone. Nimue was gone, taken or dead, and he was all alone again, just a miserable little rat that nobody else wanted to waste their time on. But rather than raging over the cruelness of it all, rather than dissolving into hysterics or mourning over the loss, Talim just felt an overwhelming sense of numbness towards the entire situation. She was gone, because of course she was, because nothing good could ever last in his life, could it? He'd tried to step out on his own, and he'd gotten horrifically scarred and left for dead for his troubles. He'd joined a pack, and the pack had dissolved. He'd made friends in Isaiah, in Skye and Nimue and a handful of the other members of Ananke, and in the end they had all either disappeared or decided he wasn't worth wasting their time on anymore. Even Murmur had left before he'd gotten the chance to apologize to her for all the cruel words he had slung in her direction, and the guilt over such a thing had eaten him alive for weeks afterward until he had finally fallen into a state of numb acceptance, much like the one he was feeling now. Everyone left, everyone got tired and fucking left him, so what was the point of driving himself into hysterics over every single betrayal or loss that he felt? It had happened before, and it would happen again. It was just another fact of his miserable, meaningless life.
He'd been so wrapped up in his own mind lately that he hadn't even bothered to seek out Ambrose again, to see if they might make good on the other male's promise to set up a meeting with Dione in order for him to ask for an official rank within the pack- for all he knew, Ambrose had gotten tired of him too- instead choosing to slink into the caverns located upon Vasilios territory, only daring to venture out once the need for food became too strong for him to ignore. His frame withered and shrank until he was practically nothing but skin stretched over bone, he was perpetually thirsty despite the small puddles of water lying here and there upon the cavern's floor, and were he in the right state of mind Talim likely would have longed for some semblance of company- but he did not, and if someone came along he would blatantly deny that anything was wrong, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. The coolness of the caverns seemed to be the perfect allegory for his current mental state, and in any case if he was going to disappear in the same way as everyone who had ever cared about him had, this seemed as good of a place to do it as any.
Word Count: 796
Other: It's sad boi time